Elements of Graveside Service

Typically, the graveside service is a time of bringing the body to the cemetery for burial after the funeral service. The graveside (or committal) service is usually less attended than the actual funeral and sometimes is reserved for family only. In the case of a graveside service following a funeral service, it is best to keep it short. The family has spent a long time either at the church or the funeral home by this point. You may choose to follow in the processional of cars from the church or funeral home to the cemetery or you may choose to drive to the cemetery ahead of the processional. Either way, you need to be sure that you are by the graveside when the casket is carried to its position. You should also be careful to stand at the head of the casket when making your remarks. All bodies are buried facing the east, so you can move to the west end of the casket or simply ask the funeral director to clarify which end is the head. This position is one of respect. You should use a brief passage of Scripture at the graveside. There are numerous texts appropriate for this occasion. Possible Biblical themes would be resurrection, the second coming of Jesus, Jesus’ comfort of Martha and Mary after the death of Lazarus, certain Psalms, or passages dealing with Jesus’ triumph over death. Before you begin, be sure to check with the funeral director that everyone is present for the graveside service, so you don’t start before everyone has the opportunity to come to the graveside. A good approach is to read your selected passage, say a few brief words applying the text to the deceased, offer a brief prayer, and go speak to the family members before you leave. Do not be in a hurry to leave when speaking to the family but also be careful to not monopolize their time because others want to speak to the family as well.

            Some who have served in the military will receive military honors as part of the graveside service. Communication with the funeral director is vital in this case. He or she can help coordinate the flow of events at the cemetery. The Honor Guard may want to go first before you share and allow you to bring the service to a close. Other times the military personnel performing the honors ceremony may want to go last and conclude the service with the presentation of the folded flag. You, as pastor, need to be flexible at this point and respect the wishes of the family, military Honor Guard, and the funeral director. If offered a choice, you can express your preference. Typically, military honors include, at the very minimum, the folding of the American flag and its presentation to the next of kin. Depending on the deceased’s military career, the Honor Guard may play Taps and possibly give a salute of firing weapons. It is important for you to remain during the military honors (if you go first and have finished your duties, do not leave before the conclusion of the military honors). You need to stand at attention and respect the ceremony honoring the one who served his or her country.

            Some families request a graveside-only service in lieu of a full funeral service followed by a graveside. In this case, you need to have clear communication with the family of the deceased and with the funeral director as to expectations. Likely a graveside-only service will be longer than one following a full funeral service elsewhere. The family may request music, someone to sing, read a poem, or some may want to share some personal thoughts about the one who has passed away. Visiting with the family before the graveside service will provide the opportunity to clarify expectations, people involved, and any other elements they may desire. It is completely appropriate to discuss with the family as to their expectations of the length of a graveside-only service.

 

            Most graveside services are held outdoors in a cemetery. You need to be aware of the weather conditions and their effect on the people attending the service. If it is extremely hot, you need to keep the service as short as possible. If it is extremely cold, be aware of the uncomfortable position of sitting through the service and feeling the effects of the cold. Most families will not be upset with you for cutting a service short, but they will remember if you made it last too long.

            As with any aspect of pastoral ministry, it is vital to pray about every passage you choose and every word you say. Grief has a powerful impact in the lives of people and our job is to bring as much comfort, hope, and peace as we can through the power of God’s Word and his Spirit.  

Dr. Jeff Moore is the Senior Pastor at First Baptist Church Altus.

Similar Posts

Involving Church Members in Disaster Relief Ministry

As you consider ministry and missions opportunities for the members of your church, I would encourage you to reach out to your DOM to learn if there is a Disaster Relief Team in your association, or where the nearest teams are.

How to Handle a Property Accident at the Church

“There’s been an explosion at the church!” Seminary prepares a pastor for many things, but no class, lecture, or seminar prepared me to handle the damage done to our church building when a compressed natural gas tank torpedoed through it, leaving over a hundred...

Giving Strength To And Gaining Strength From One Another

Something powerful happens when people and churches work together. Beyond our commitment to scripture and passion for the gospel, no other characteristic better defines Southern Baptists than cooperation. We combine our resources and coordinate our efforts to shine...

Preaching the Gospel through all elements of the Worship Service

Seeking to ensure our worship services bring glory to the Lord and impact those gathered can feel daunting.  Though not exhaustive, here are six ways to transform our public worship experience by seizing every element for the glory of Christ: Revelation &...

Pastors and Financial Integrity

Ministry should be messy at times, but the same should not be said about our books. Brothers, a lack of financial integrity has the power to destroy our ministry as fast as a moral failure. Money, or the lack of it, has this unique ability to expose the depth of our character. And as my father always told me, “our ministry will never rise above the depth of our character.” Marked by that thought, here are a few humble attempts to help. Not to become professionals, but simply to stay faithful.

What Pastors Need to Know About Grief

What Pastors Need to Know About Grief In March of 2004 my wife of 27 years and 18-year-old daughter were killed in a car wreck on the Indian Nations Turnpike in Oklahoma.  By that time in my ministry as a pastor I had done dozens of funerals.  But I had no idea about...

7 A’s of Confession

Living at peace with God, ourselves, and others is essential for our witness for Christ.  Everything God does He does in love. He is always working things out for the good.  Even in the midst of conflict, if we allow Him to, He will work things out for our good.  Acts...

Making the Transition to a New Pastorate

I was the pastor of Crossroads Baptist Church in Beggs, Oklahoma for four and a half years. The church loved us and we loved them. I genuinely expected to stay there for many years. There were no major issues, at least not that I knew of, and the church was growing...

Practicing SOG

How do you become proficient in anything? As with so many things, the answer is simple but not easy. The path to proficiency is through practice. Reflection is important in peacemaking. Discussion is often helpful in conflict resolution. But in the end practice is the...

The Power of Presence — Incarnational Ministry

Pastor, one of the two biggest moments in the history of the cosmos centers upon the ministry of presence. What is the incarnation if it is not the ministry of presence? Think about the promises given to us in scripture promising that “God is with us.”  Remember...