Over the summer when I turned 21, I backpacked Europe for 6 weeks with 2 other girlfriends. It was pre-9/11 and a trip of a lifetime!

Two thirds of us were working through break-ups, so many conversations at the Eiffel Tower, Stonehenge, and walking through the Roman Coliseum involved checking in to see how we were doing.

We made up a little HEALTHINESS TEST with these three letters P – E – S, and almost daily we would ask, “What’s your PES scale today?” P was physical. E was emotional. S was spiritual.

It was a quick DEEP DIVE assessment into what we were struggling with and needed help talking through.

Now, over 25 years later (oh man, can it really be?), I see such wisdom in what we were doing and have been thinking about HOW WE as ministry wives can have a measurement to our own HEALTHINESS so that we can assess and have intentional conversations that would be both valuable and encouraging.

My heart for you in 2021 is for your:


The truth: our families can only be as well as we are healthy. Am I right? We set the tone and the temperature in our homes. It starts with US.

So, what does a healthy ministry wife look like? It doesn’t have to be complicated, even though at times I feel totally confused with myself. There is clarity and simplicity and freedom found when we can be honest with ourselves by engaging our own brokenness and inviting God into transforming the mess.

It starts with this honest, assessing question: Am I healthy?

It’s a BIG question. How do we know if we are? We need to have a customized PES scale, much like my girlfriends and I did in the 90s.

After tons of reading and talking and praying, I’ve created “5 Markers of a Healthy Ministry Wife.” We will be unpacking it bit by bit throughout the year.

I pray that it will propel you on a journey with the Lord to grow in maturity in these 5 areas: spiritual, emotional, personal, relational, and missional.

I pray that we can have intentional, honest, encouraging, value-added conversations together. And, it starts with honestly assessing where you are.